The distressed farmer

It has become a sickeningly regular affair. Year after year, those despondent farmers out in the dusty outback commit suicide, driven to the extreme by sheer helplessness. The successive governments show token gestures, the media sensationalizes it, and a few drops of rains is all it takes, for deja vu.

In this poetic trilogy below, I have tried to capture the scene and the mood of the hapless farmer who took his own life away, unable to swim against the tide of fate. In three different languages. The flavour is the same, across the three. The presentation and context may vary.


The distressed farmer
================

Fleas circle my mortal remains
Hoping for a meal of blood.
The poor souls do not realize
that I am their food now,
Because of sustained lack of food.

My once strong body,
That had carried many a sack
Full of grains, to the shanty,
Is now ready to be carried,
To be devoured by fire.

Those strong arms, that
Planted many a sapling
And gave green life
Far into the distant horizon
Had dared to take my own life-
Crop head or human head,
The sickle knows only to harvest.

I am used to the stunning green
Of the crops swaying in the gentle breeze
But years of prolonged drought
Had made me to stop staring
My open , lifeless eyes now gaze
Into the empty blue sky
Into an abyss of famine.

Water had receded into oblivion
In the canal, the pond and the well
And took away with it,
Any remnant moisture in peoples' hearts
Not to mention the last drop
Of tears in my weary eyes.

There was no water,
To quench my parched gut
No soul to water my drained spirit
My endurance was long dead
Before I decided to kill myself.

Just as the fleas settle down
On my claret collar
They are shooed away -
By a torrent of water.

From out of nowhere
Long after my absolution,
They  brought buckets of water
For the customary ablution!!


कुछ बाक़ी नहीं
=========

ज़मीन जल चुकी है, उम्मीद अब कुछ बाक़ी नहीं
ऐ खुदा बस करो , तेरे इम्तिहान में अब कुछ बाक़ी नहीं।
आखों में आंसू , सीने में शरम, हालात से मजबूरी 
इनके अलावा मेरे पास और  कुछ बाक़ी नहीं ।

सोचा था - मेरा पसीना फसल बनके लहराएगा एक दिन
पर अब मायूसी की तूफ़ान के सिवा और  कुछ बाक़ी नहीं।

आशा की तुख़्म को बोना था खेत में - पर अब
लगान का वज़न के अलावा और कुछ बाक़ी नहीं ।

सोचा था - पेशा बदलूँ तो क़िस्मत भी बदलेगा
पर बेखूफ़ी के अंगारों से और कुछ बाकी नहीं।

ज़िन्दगी का हर मोड़ अब मेरे लिए बंध है
रास्ता-ए-ख़ुदकुशी के अलावा और कुछ बाक़ी नहीं।


பொய்த்த வானம், போன மானம்
=======================

காய்ந்து வெடித்திட்ட நிலத்தின் மடிதனிலே
மாய்ந்து  கருகிட்ட நெற்பயிரின் பரவல்
ஓய்ந்து  மருகிட்ட என்மனதை நோக்கிப்
பாய்ந்து  வந்தது தரித்திரக் கதறல்

முப்போகம் பார்த்திட்ட காலமும் போய்
எப்போது மறுபடியும் ஊண் என ஏக்கம் 
தப்பாது என் குடும்பம் இனி வறுமையிலிருந்து
தப்பேதும் செய்யவில்லை, பின் ஏன் தண்டனை?

ஆண்டாண்டு காலமாய் உழவனுக்கு சாபம்
தீண்டாமை கொடுமையினால் நீர் தர மறுப்பு
மாண்டாலும் சரி , அவர் தயவு இனி நமக்கு
வேண்டாமே என வானத்தைப் பார்த்தேன்.

கார்முகில் போன இடமோ கடவுளுக்ககே வெளிச்சம்
பார்முழுதும் வறட்சியின் கோர தாண்டவம்
ஏர்பிடிக்கும் என் நிலைமை என்னென்று சொல்வேன்
வேரோடு என் குடியை அசைத்திட்ட வறுமை.

ஒரு வேளை உணவுக்கே வழியிங்கு இல்லை
தர வேண்டும் தன் கடனை- ஈட்டிக்காரன் தொல்லை
பிறகென்ன செய்வேன் , வழி வேறு இல்லை
இறப்பைத் தழுவினேன், இனி இன்னல் இல்லை 

- D-

Photo courtesy: the Internet



  

 



 

The quirk of fate

It has been a year, to the dot. A year, since my friend Raghavan decided to press the button of the parachute all of a sudden, and headed straight to heaven. He had probably fumbled when pressing the button. Which probably explained the rather gory scenes.

The end was vicious, and totally unexpected. His family was hit by a meteor, as it were. All who knew him, were devastated. But, probably next to his family, I was one of the most affected. I was in the final stages of completing my Chemo regimen when he had died, and my Oncologist had prohibited me me from seeing him one last time, for hygiene reasons. Just 48 hours before he had succumbed to a massive heart attack, we were talking for 3 hours on the phone, and I was scolding him for not doing his exercises regularly, and not taking his health seriously. But then, he was gone. Gone, in a jiffy.

I could not see him off physically then. I am unable to see him off my mind, one year after. Not a day passes without remembering him. 

We became friends a quarter of a century ago. Through our respective professions. I had the chance to work with him, while he visited India, on a few projects. We had hit it off instantly. Both of us were very argumentative in nature ( I still am). Our vista of interest was similar, and so, we used to discuss, and end up arguing, on many of them. We used to talk for hours - in person, on the phone, and at work. But, invariably, at the end of it all, we used to smile and laugh the day off.

We were the bouncing board for each other. We used to share our thoughts, feelings, those dark secrets..  what real friends should be doing. We used to chide each other when we felt that the other person was doing something wrong. We were a sort of conscience-keeper for each other.

I still remember that fateful day, when Raghavan and I went casually to the hospital, in 2015, since I was feeling unwell. It took all of 45 minutes to turn my world upside down. When the doctor had broken the news of my Leukemia, Raghavan was the only one with me at the hospital. He had broken down inconsolably. He was a lot more worried about me, than I was, about myself. He probably thought my story was over, then. Little did we all realize it would be rather his story that would end sooner.

While looking for photos of Raghavan for this post, I realized that we had practically never taken photographs together!! I had to dig through my archives
for this decade-and-half old photo! We probably had taken each other's presence for granted. Probably thought that we were going to be around, forever, and never bothered to take portraits.

In anyone's life, people come. And people go. But there are a few who stay. A few, whose thoughts linger. A few, who leave an indelible impression, in one's life.

My dear Raghavan, dont ever think that you can escape from my arguments! God has given a few wonderful and close friends. He took you away from me, for now. But, one day, I will join you in heaven, and we can continue our friendly banters.