Ustad Rashid khan performs Megh

Senility and Sensibility

Senility and sensibility

After a long time, I had the chance to meet my grandmother. She is 90 years old, still walking around a bit, with a walking stick for help, and taking of her bare necessities. I keep quipping to her that in terms of health, she is better compared to her five daughters, all aged between 55 and 74 ( my mother is third in the pecking order), and of course, that these five siblings are comparatively better off in terms of health compared to the next generation ( including yours truly), and so on.

This is no secret. The older generations did a lot of hard physical work, ate and slept well, and kept their wants and needs to be minimum ( most probably out of lack of choice), and given their lifestyle in the villages, naturally tended to have better health than the corresponding generations. But one thing that struck me on the head was – it was not just the physical toughness that kept them going. They were mental martinets. They had the ability to face adversity and stand up to it in all confidence and composure. The biggest bane of the current generation (and worsening through into the next) is that most of lack the mental tenacity to face up to the rough when the situation demands. Most of us tend to wilt. This lack of psychological stamina also tells upon the physical health, big time. This is why you find people popping pills at the drop of a hat for the smallest nag, or rush to a doctor for the slightest rise in the body temperature. “Don’t take headaches lightly” – goes our mental conditioning.

When it comes to GenNext, they are even more unfortunate, in that they neither get to see their parents display that tenacity required to face the vicissitudes of life with equanimity, nor their grand parents in action – most of us, after all, have adopted the Nuclear family as the de-facto lifestyle model, thus depriving the children of the warmth and moral support of the grandparents.

My grandma, in the meanwhile, looks at me, with ever fading eyesight, and murmurs faintly “I do not know how long God wants me to undergo this torture. I have been suffering from severe pain all over the body, am finding it increasingly difficult to live… when will God take me back?” … clearly one of those moments in life when one does not know how to react….

Shree

One can’t find a better language than Sanskrit to convey the precise message, through the most apt choice of words. Not for nothing is Sanskrit quite often called the language of the Gods (and perhaps that is the reason that humans have stopped using it in daily life!).

Take the word Shree, for example. It is a wonderful example of how intrinsically a language is interwoven with the culture of the people using it, and how futile it is, to separate the language from the culture.

Firstly, it is common knowledge that a man in India is often given the title of Shri (and a woman is given a title of Shrimathi). Ever wondered why? The word Shree actually denoted his better half. Simply because, in the Indian psyche, no man is complete without the woman. To him, she is the source of positive energy, inspiration and a vehicle for a complete living. To underscore this point, even Gods are given this title . “ Shree Radha Samedha Shree Krishna” or “Sri Rama” is the way we call the Gods.

Secondly, the word Shree also denotes Wealth or Treasure or an Asset. In good old days, when an Indian woman got married, she used to get her fair share of her ancestral wealth as “Shree Dhanam”. This was not a token gift, but a real subdivision of ancestral property (either from her forefathers or from her own parents), that she got to take with her, when she entered her new home. This word “Shree Dhanam”, over time, morphed into the word “Seedhanam” in Tamil, started getting abused by one and all, as Dowry, and all it’s accompanied trials and tribulations. Incidentally, I believe that this is the reason why women were not entitled to a fair share of the ancestral wealth at the time of division – simply because her fair share had already been given away at the time of her marriage. It is a different matter that, over time, this practice started getting abused, forcing the Government to eventually to step into the living room, and force a fair division through law. This is yet another of those lovely concepts, in my view, which could have worked very well, had it not been for the perversions and greed that crept into it over time.

So, in essence, “Shree” denoted either a woman in a positive sense, or, better, wealth or asset.

But then, as I said at the opening, Sanskrit packs so much punch in every word. That brings me to the third interpretation. Shree also denotes – hold your breath – poison. Or in a more colloquial sense, something that is really bad or could potentially destroys everything around it. Case in point? The name Shrikantan, given to Lord Shiva, after he swallowed the poison that emanated from the Ocean of Milk. “Kantam” in Sanskrit means the neck, and Shri, poison. So Srikantan means one who has or holds poison in his neck.

Now comes the tricky part. One can easily take three interpretations on a stand-alone basis and move on. But I firmly believe that this is where the cultural aspect comes in. Try and loosely combine the three literal meanings – woman, asset poison, as above, and you may get the plot. To me, this word also denotes that a woman can be a a real asset and a source of uplift for the man, or, if not used properly, can be the source of his destruction. As in the Tamil proverb, Aavadhum Pennale… azhivadhum pennalae”… which means whatever happens, good or bad, is always because of a woman.

In this context, an amusing story often narrated by the Tamil orator Suki Sivam comes to my mind. Two Sadhus were in deep contemplation in the Himalayas. At long last, one of them broke the silence and asked the other – “how did you end up as a Sadhu?” The second Sadhu heaved a big sigh, cleared his throat, and started his story, of how we was madly in love with a woman, and how she initially reciprocated it, but finally settled for someone else in marriage, ditching him in the process, and how, out of disillusionment in life ( because of love failure) he took to Sanyasam. The first one listened to all this in rapt attention, and felt for him. Slowly, they picked up a conversation, exchanging their nativities and lineage. That was when the second Sadhu asked” OK, I told you my story. Now tell me – how did you end up as a Sadhu”? To which, the first Sadhu looked at him intently, and said “ I was the unfortunate one who married that woman!”

Thus, this one word Shree tells me that, that contrary to the propaganda that women in the Indian society always played second fiddle to the men, women in those good old days had all the respect and exalted position in the family, and by deduction, in the society. It also tells me how a woman can be a boon and a bane to a man at the same time. It also tells me how a well-conducted woman is viewed as an asset in the family and for society, and if not, a liability or even poison.

How much more can one pack in a single word, folks?