Cricket Umpires- the butt of jokes

I wondered what these popular umpires would be called, for the respective actions. The result?

1. Dicky Bird correctly picked up a nick off Viv Richard's bat -  Bird's eye view is obviously better than Hawk eye view.

2. Umpire Kumar Dharmasena turned down a clear LBW - is he Adharmasena?

3. If Umpire Jai Prakash gets involved in match fixing scandals, then he may have to be called JaipraCASH.

4. What do you call David Shepherd when he ends up reversing an earlier erroneous decision of his, suo moto? - The Good Shepherd.


5.What do you call Umpire Steve Bucknor, who turns down a clear caught-behind appeal ?    -   Buck"NO"r.

6. What do you call Darrell Hair he has consistenly gives controversial decisions against the Indians ii the Border-Gavaskar series ? -  "HAIR IMPLANT"

7. Daryl Harper continues to warn Zaheer Khan on running into the pitch on his follow-through - No surprise at all. After all, he is Daryl "HARP" er.

8. Umpire Mark Benson blatantly gave a reprieve to The Punter, when he did not catch his fine nick off the gloves. - Well this series is aptly named "Benson & Edges" series.

9. Umpire Aleem Dar was not intimidated by the vociferous appeals of Andrew Flintoff - Aleem Dar tha nahin ( "Aleem does not fear", in Hindi)

10. Umpire Rudi Koertzen reports Saqlain Mushtaq for excessive appealing - RUDE Koertzen.


P.S: Last heard. Umpire Billy Bowden has been denied a visa to enter India to umpire in the World Cup. Apparently Lord Nataraja was upset that Billy has been consistently stealing His copyrighted postures, and the good Lord came in the dreams of the External affairs minister.

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An Ode' to Ricky Ponting

There once was a batsman called Ponting

In technique he never was found wanting

His stint at the crease saw the fielders often panting

He always had the perfect reply to the steaming bowler’s ranting.

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His centuries most often saw Aussie wins

His eleven opponents verily became nine pins

Words spoken in pre-series conferences he never used to mince

Hence he had as many fiends as assassins.

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The Aussie media spoke of him in the same breath as Tendulkar

His actions matched the “Punter” he was, for a moniker

His verbal duels against opposition were an effective psychological tinker

With the bat and without it, he ended up as their back-breaker.

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His rapid slump in form forced to hang up his boots

The opposition and media could not care two hoots

The “Tasmanian Devil” finally went back to his roots

To contribute to Australian rules Football with his shoots.

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