Cricket Umpires- the butt of jokes

I wondered what these popular umpires would be called, for the respective actions. The result?

1. Dicky Bird correctly picked up a nick off Viv Richard's bat -  Bird's eye view is obviously better than Hawk eye view.

2. Umpire Kumar Dharmasena turned down a clear LBW - is he Adharmasena?

3. If Umpire Jai Prakash gets involved in match fixing scandals, then he may have to be called JaipraCASH.

4. What do you call David Shepherd when he ends up reversing an earlier erroneous decision of his, suo moto? - The Good Shepherd.


5.What do you call Umpire Steve Bucknor, who turns down a clear caught-behind appeal ?    -   Buck"NO"r.

6. What do you call Darrell Hair he has consistenly gives controversial decisions against the Indians ii the Border-Gavaskar series ? -  "HAIR IMPLANT"

7. Daryl Harper continues to warn Zaheer Khan on running into the pitch on his follow-through - No surprise at all. After all, he is Daryl "HARP" er.

8. Umpire Mark Benson blatantly gave a reprieve to The Punter, when he did not catch his fine nick off the gloves. - Well this series is aptly named "Benson & Edges" series.

9. Umpire Aleem Dar was not intimidated by the vociferous appeals of Andrew Flintoff - Aleem Dar tha nahin ( "Aleem does not fear", in Hindi)

10. Umpire Rudi Koertzen reports Saqlain Mushtaq for excessive appealing - RUDE Koertzen.


P.S: Last heard. Umpire Billy Bowden has been denied a visa to enter India to umpire in the World Cup. Apparently Lord Nataraja was upset that Billy has been consistently stealing His copyrighted postures, and the good Lord came in the dreams of the External affairs minister.

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The making of our travel plans - a short story

This is a short story of  someone making travel plans. The interesting bit is the usage of many well-known brand names in America. Enjoy!

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As I Kindle Fire in my living room, reclining wearily on the Couch, biting an Apple and generally musing about life – no, not just the mundane Bed and Bath but Beyond.  We live not too far from the Polar bears, as it were, and I was visualizing how life would be if I Make My Trip this winter, to Kathmadu. Or, how a Carnival in a Cruise down the Amazon would feel. Better still,  could I get the Best Buys of fake branded clothes in Bangkok which appeared to be a Googol miles away at the moment? My entire Family considers every Dollar spent on holiday an investment in education. Their knowledge of  the National Geography is commendable, but not many have been International Touristers, really speaking. “Gee! I may need a Visa to visit these places…”, I reflected. I needed to zero in on my Target, and quickly, to make sure that I Am on Track for my winter wanderings.

Just the other day, my Salsa friend Sam sung songs in praise of Abercrombie in Scotland, and what a lovely holiday he had there. Munching Fries laced with Chipotle, this Mexican Grilled me on my holiday preferences. Eating Wholesome Foods was not his forte, even if he could afford it. I warned him against the health hazards of junk food. He retorted, “look I am fit enough, so much so that even if the General Motors down I487, I can Sprint and catch up with him”. Quo Vadis?

I decided to seek the suggestions of my neighbour. However, the Hortons turned to be Wranglers, in fact. I realized that there is a wide Gap between our approaches to the same problem. “Do you have an UPS at home to Tide over General Electric failures?” I asked him one day, mowing the lawns. “No, but why do I need to Bank on my own, when the whole Of America has not planned for it?”  “We have had a Good Year in terms of Weather, and hence he does not feel the need for it”, I thought. Clearly, we were Head and Shoulders above them, in our thinking.

My wife, tapped me on my shoulders and said, “Honey, well, let us head South West this winter. Our Budget allows for only that right now.”

“Yahoo!”

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Kumbhakarna - an enigma

Kumbhakrana reminds one of David and Goliath!

Cosmetic Story


The cosmetic story of Kumbhakrna goes as follows:

Kumbhakarna is an important character in the Ramayana. He is a demon just like his infamous brother Ravana, the king of Lankapuri. Kumbhakarna (कुम्भकर्ण) literally means the person with ears like a pot ( कुम्भ Kumbha means pot and कर्ण Karna means ear). Kumbhakarna was a gargantuan in size and quite often depicted as large as mountain.  Want a supplement?

"Jannu" is a satellite peak of Mt. Kangchenjunga with the summit reaching a height of 25,295 feet. It is around 10 km away from the Kangchenjunga's main summit on the western spur. The peak is located entirely in Nepal. The official Nepalese name for the peak is Kumbhakarna. It is the 32nd highest peak in the whole world. See map below!

http://wikimapia.org/1112129/Jannu-Kumbhakarna-Phoktanglungma-7710m

 To the Buddhists, Mount Kumbhakarna represents the head of Sleeping Buddha (photo below)






Despite his monstrous size and great hunger, Kumbhakarna had an innocent mind and good character.


Pranayamam

There are three Sanskrit words that are often used in connection with the practice of pranayama. They are: puraka, kumbhaka,and rechaka. पूरकं "Purakam" is loosely translated as "inhalation", but it literally means "filling. " This filling process commences twelve inches away from the body. Therefore, mental visualization is involved in the procedure of purakam. कुम्भकं "Kumbhakam" means "pot. " You might understand this definition more clearly if you visualize your body to be a pot which you are filling up until it becomes completely full. When this filling is accomplished, like a pot with its cover on top, the breath is held, (shut in, so to speak) like a pot that holds grains. Lastly, the term रेचकं "rechakam" (a word that sounds similar to the English synonym for vomiting, "retching") is usually translated as exhalation, but is more correctly understood to mean "holding the pot empty. " In other words, the breath is not only expelled, but also held outside.

Why do Kumbhakam?

"One perceives effulgent light, becomes omniscient and attains longevity.” – according to Kumbhaka Padhati

Practicing kumbhaka for a long time increases endurance of physiological as well as psychological structure of an individual. Continuous and long term practicing increases the hold or control on breath up to an extent where it reaches to its extreme stage (Kevali Kumbhakam as mentioned in Hatha Yoga) and the respiration is ceased permanently unless desired to get into normal state. Aging is proportional to metabolism which in turn is proportional to respiratory rate. Metabolism lowers down as the respiratory rate decreases and this helps retard aging or at least lowers down the process.

Relationship between breathing rate and longevity:

The following information is from Wikipedia, and gives one an idea of what lower respiratoy rate really means for longevity

Mouse: Respiratory rate = 60-230/min and Life span = 1.5-3.0 years [1]

Rabbit: Respiratory rate = 30-60/min and Life span = 5.0-6.0 years [2]

Monkey: Respiratory rate = 30-50/min and Life span = 20–30 years [3]

Human: Respiratory rate = 12-16/min and Life span = 70–80 years

Whales: Respiratory rate = 3-5/min [4] and Life span = more than 100 years

My interpretation of the meaning of  Kumbhakarna

I am well aware of the fact that mythology says that Goddess Saraswati created a wrong choice of words in his mouth, and he ended up asking for a boon of protracted sleep. Here is my point. As can be seen above, the word Kumbhakam perhaps means visualizing a full pot that holds grains... whereas the mythological representation is one of a demon with a pot belly ("ears like a pot" definition at the start!) . Hence, to me , Kumbhakarna has adeeper meaning than a simple mythological character who has ears like a pot and sleeps for most of the year...

How? A bit of Sanskrit etymology here...instead of splitting the word into Kumbha and Karna ( opening para above), I would like to interpret the word as Kumbhaka कुम्भक  and Arnaha अर्णः  . Kumbhaka perhaps refers to someone practicing Kumbhakam, and the word Arnaha in Sanskrit literally means a Teak tree, in other words, a gigantic manifestation...  so it is possible to interpret Kumbhakarna as a Gigantic figure who is a practitioner of Kumbhakam ( as opposed to the classical definition of someone sleeping for 6 months in the year as per mythology)?

Hence , to me, Kumbharna may not just be a person in eternal sleep, as is made out by mythological representation, but someone who practices Kumbhakam very diligently... and gets as strong as teak.   and that this Kumbhakam  is what gives him the gargantuan powers and longevity that he is so famous for...  so much so that he could manage to seriously injure Hanuman, the son of Vayu, one of the physically strongest persons known, before being felled by Rama!

The science of fire

I read this rather fascinating explanation of the various types of fire that emnates when a Homam or fire sacrifice is performed. I don't most of us would have noticed the types of fire , in our daily lives.

The Rig Veda starts with the following lines:

अग्नि॒म् ई॑ळे पुरो॒हि॑तं यज्ञ॒स्य॑ देव॒म् ऋत्वि॒ज॑म् । होता॑रं रत्नधा॒त॑मम् ॥

agním īḷe puróhitaṃ / yajñásya devám ṛtvíjam / hótāraṃ ratnadhâtamam

Agni I laud, the high priest, god, minister of sacrifice, The invoker, lavishest of wealth.

Agni (Abhimani) the fire god is said to have sprung from the mouth of the Virata purusha, the Cosmic Man

The Rigveda often says that Agni arises from water or dwells in the waters. On the face of it, this may sound illogical, or even ridiculous. Closer inspection, to me, reveals how much science the Rishis knew thousands of years before modern science realized that there is a lot of energy ( heat) involved in two atoms of Hydrogen bonded to one atom of Oxygen to form water!!! In fact modern Nuclear Physics attempts to split atoms and compounds to extract this heat for commercial exploitation!!!

Agni (fire) is the element of transformation. It symbolizes absorbing and digesting experiences. As you make offerings in fire and they burn in fire, various spiritual experiences are processed and digested by your internal fire.

Tongue is that which allows one to taste things that one is going to accept inside and digest. Each tongue of fire stands for a spirit that controls how you absorb spiritual experiences.

Even to the untrained eye, in a Homam, only certain things are offered to the fire, and in a certain measure and in a certain sequence. This determines, by and large, the nature of the "tongue" one can expect to come out - very similar to the very different colours of flame that are observed in the Chemical Laboratry when different metals or compounds are put to the flame test.

The seven tongues of Agni are: Kaali, Karaali, Manojava, Sulohita, Sudhoomra-Varna, Sphulingini, and Vishwaruchi.

Kaali is the dark and black/blue fire. It symbolizes the spirit of detachment. Spirit of detachment control show you absorb your experiences, when you are offering in that tongue of fire.

Karaali is the monstrous, dreadful fire that looks like a wide open mouth. Spirit of attachment and desire controls how you absorb your experiences, when you are offering in that tongue of fire

Manojava is the swiftly moving, flickering and unstable flame. Spirit of wavering (could also be flexibility) controls how you absorb your experiences, when you are offering in that tongue of fire.

Sulohita is the (copper like) dark red color flame. Spirit of determination and strength controls how you absorb your experiences, when you are offering in that tongue of fire.

Sudhoomra-Varna is the greyish/purple/smoke-colored fire. Spirit of confusion (could also be resolution of confusion) controls how you absorb your experiences, when you are offering in that tongue of fire.

Sphulingini is the fire with sparks. Spirit of aggression and haste (could also be a great intuition/insight) controls how you absorb your experiences, when you are offering in that tongue of fire.

Vishwaruchi is the bright fire. Spirit of focus, knowing, being and bliss controls how you absorb your experiences, when you are offering in that tongue of fire.

As you keep performing homam and a relationship is formed between you and fire, the external fire in the homa kundam ( or the fire pod) will reflect your internal fire. When your mind is well-focused and blissful, the fire will automatically burn bright.The state of your mind will decide how you will taste the spiritual experiences you are going to absorbfrom around you. 

That in turn decides which tongues (tasting agents) of your internal fire are receivingfood right now. That in turn decides which tongues of the external fire are receiving offerings right now.The external fire is a mirror to your internal state. An adept may be able to detect, looking at the fire,which tongues of fire are active right now and hence guess the state your mind is in.

The above relationship between the state of the mind and the fire is easy to explain away but not easy to practise. I believe this only comes with eyars' of trying.

To me, this also attempts to answer many critics of fire sacrifices or Homams or Havans, on the purpose and inner meaning of such Homams. 

Clearly, homams are not meant to be performed superficially. They need a lot of attention to detail, involve a lot of practise and to me, they appear to be very, very scientific.

Special thanks to "Vedic Wisdom" by Shri. Narasimha Rao" which had the explanation for the 7 tongues.

A favourite Thiruppugazh of mine

This is a Thiruppugazh masterpiece that I stumbled upon, when I was searching for my favourite musician T M Krishna's songs...   I got bowled over by a combination of his voice, the Ragam Chenchurutti in which this song has been composed, and the profound meaning of Arunagirinathar ( which I only found out later on). The lyrics have been taken off the website Kaumaram ( thanks a lot to them).  Enjoy the song!

T M Krishna's rendition of Thiruppugazh in CHenchurutti




நிலையாத சமுத்திர மான சமுசார துறைக்கணின் மூழ்கி
     நிசமான தெனப்பல பேசி ...... யதனூடே 

நெடுநாளு முழைப்புள தாகி பெரியோர்க ளிடைக்கர வாகி
     நினைவால்நி னடித்தொழில் பேணி ...... துதியாமல் 

தலையான வுடற்பிணி யூறி பவநோயி னலைப்பல வேகி
     சலமான பயித்திய மாகி ...... தடுமாறித் 

தவியாமல் பிறப்பையு நாடி யதுவேரை யறுத்துனை யோதி
     தலைமீதில் பிழைத்திட வேநி ...... னருள்தாராய் 

கலியாண சுபுத்திர னாக குறமாது தனக்குவி நோத
     கவினாரு புயத்திலு லாவி ...... விளையாடிக் 

களிகூரு முனைத்துணை தேடு மடியேனை சுகப்பட வேவை
     கடனாகு மிதுக்கன மாகு ...... முருகோனே 

பலகாலு முனைத்தொழு வோர்கள் மறவாமல் திருப்புகழ் கூறி
     படிமீது துதித்துடன் வாழ ...... அருள்வேளே 

பதியான திருத்தணி மேவு சிவலோக மெனப்பரி வேறு
     பவரோக வயித்திய நாத ...... பெருமாளே. 

......... சொல் விளக்கம் ......... 

நிலையாத சமுத்திரமான ... அகலம், ஆழம் இவ்வளவு என்று காணமுடியாத பெரும் சமுத்திரம் போன்ற 

சமுசார துறைக்கணின் மூழ்கி ... சம்சாரம் ஆகிய நீர்த்துறையிலே மூழ்கி, 

நிசமானதெனப் பல பேசி ... மெய் போன்ற பல பொய்களைப் பேசி, 

அதனூடே நெடுநாளும் உழைப்புளதாகி ... அந்த சம்சாரக் கடலிலே, நீண்ட காலமாக உழைப்புள்ளவன் ஆகி, 

பெரியோர்களிடைக் கரவாகி ... பெரியோர்களின் கூட்டத்தில் சேராமல் ஒளிந்து மறைந்து ஒதுங்கி, 

நினைவால்நி னடித்தொழில் பேணி துதியாமல் ... நல்ல நினைவோடு நின்னடிக்கான தொண்டுகளை விரும்பிப் போற்றாமல், 

தலையான வுடற்பிணி யூறி ... உடலில் முதன்மையான நோய்கள் வந்து தாக்கவும், 

பவநோயின் அலைப்பல வேகி ... இந்த சம்சார சாகரத்தில் பிறவி நோய் என்னும் பல அலைகள் வீசவும், 

சலமான பயித்திய மாகி தடுமாறித் தவியாமல் ... கோபம் கொண்ட பைத்தியக்காரனாக மாறி, யான் தடுமாறித் தவிக்காமல், 

பிறப்பையு நாடி யதுவேரை யறுத்து ... பிறவியின் மூல காரணத்தை ஆராய்ந்து, அதன் ஆணிவேராகிய ஆசையை அறுத்து, 

உனையோதி தலைமீதில் பிழைத்திடவே ... உன் புகழ் ஓதி இவ்வுலகில் உய்யுமாறு 

நினருள்தாராய் ... உன் திருவருள் புரிந்து ஆட்கொள்வாயாக. 

கலியாண சுபுத்திரனாக ... மேன்மை தங்கிய கல்யாண மாப்பிள்ளையாகவே 

குறமாது தனக்கு விநோத ... குறக் குல வள்ளி தேவியிடத்தில் என்றும் விளங்கி உல்லாசமாக, 

கவினாரு புயத்தில் உலாவி விளையாடி ... அழகு நிறைந்த அவளது திருப் புயத்தில் தழுவி உலாவி லீலைகள் புரிந்து 

களிகூரும் உனைத்துணை தேடும் அடியேனை ... மகிழும் உன்னை உற்றதுணையெனத் தேடுகின்ற என்னை 

சுகப்பட வேவை கடனாகும் ... இன்பம் அடையும்படியாகவே வைத்தருள்க. இது உனக்குக் கடமையாகும். 

இதுக்கன மாகு முருகோனே ... அவ்வாறு என்னை அருளினால் அது உனக்குப் பெருமையும் ஆகும், முருகனே. 

பலகாலும் உனைத்தொழுவோர்கள் மறவாமல் திருப்புகழ் கூறி ... பன்முறையும் உன்னை வணங்குபவர்கள், மறக்காமல் உன் திருப்புகழைப் பாடி 

படிமீது துதித்து உடன் வாழ அருள்வேளே ... இவ்வுலகிலே உன்னைத் துதிசெய்து உன்னுடனேயே எப்போதும் இருந்து வாழும்படியாக அருளும் செவ்வேளே, 

சிவலோக மெனப்பரி வேறு ... இதுவே பூலோகத்தில் உள்ள சிவலோகம் என்ற அன்பை உண்டாக்கத்தக்க 

பதியான திருத்தணி மேவு ... திருத்தலமாகிய திருத்தணிகையில் வாழ்கின்ற, 

பவரோக வயித்திய நாத பெருமாளே. ... பிறவிப் பெரு நோயைத் தீர்க்கவல்ல, வைத்தியநாதப் பெருமாளே. 

An Ode' to Ricky Ponting

There once was a batsman called Ponting

In technique he never was found wanting

His stint at the crease saw the fielders often panting

He always had the perfect reply to the steaming bowler’s ranting.

----

His centuries most often saw Aussie wins

His eleven opponents verily became nine pins

Words spoken in pre-series conferences he never used to mince

Hence he had as many fiends as assassins.

----

The Aussie media spoke of him in the same breath as Tendulkar

His actions matched the “Punter” he was, for a moniker

His verbal duels against opposition were an effective psychological tinker

With the bat and without it, he ended up as their back-breaker.

----

His rapid slump in form forced to hang up his boots

The opposition and media could not care two hoots

The “Tasmanian Devil” finally went back to his roots

To contribute to Australian rules Football with his shoots.

====

Harikesanallu Muthiah Bhagavathar

Harikesanallur L Muthiah Bhagavatar was a multi-faceted personality who strode the Carnatic music world in the late 19th century and the first half of the 20th. Born on 15th November 1877 to Sri Lingam Iyer and Smt Anandambal of Punalveli village, he was however to put the village of Harikesanallur on the musical map for it was there that the family migrated when he was still young. He later learnt music at Tiruvayyaru from Sambasiva Iyer of the Pallavi Doraiswami Iyer lineage. Sambasiva Iyer’s father Sabhapati Sivam was a disciple of Tyagaraja. He was also taught by Sambasiva Iyer’s son TS Sabhesa Iyer.

Muthiah Bhagavatar became a fine musician who was richly awarded and feted. He later became an expert in Harikatha and on playing the Gotuvadyam. He ran one of the earliest music schools of South India. Named the Tyagaraja Sangeeta Vidyalaya, it functioned in Madurai for four years, from 1920 onwards. One of its stellar products was Madurai Mani Iyer. In later years, Muthiah Bhagavatar was Principal of the Teachers’ College of Music run by the Music Academy, Madras and the Swati Tirunal Academy in Trivandrum. He was also one of the prime movers in the effort to get music to become part of University curriculum. Muthiah Bhagavatar helped conduct two major music festivals for several years, one at Karur for the Zamindar of Andipatti and the other at his own Harikesanallur. He helped organise music conferences in Tanjavur between 1912 and 1916 and also at the Music Academy, Madras from 1929 to 1945. He presided over the Academy’s Conference of 1930 and received its Sangita Kalanidhi on 1st January 1943. He wrote the first doctoral thesis in Carnatic music and was awarded the D Litt. by the Travancore University in 1942. He composed a Harikatha on the life of Tyagaraja and besides, composed several songs, his corpus being perhaps the largest after Tyagaraja’s.

He played an important role in the resuscitation of Swati Tirunal’s kritis and some of the latter’s songs are sung in tunes set by Bhagavatar. He brought the raga Hamsanandi into Carnatic music, inspired by its Hindustani equivalent, Sohoni. He was music director for two Tamil films and had also composed scores for church music. He traveled extensively going as far as Burma (Myanmar) and Ceylon (Sri Lanka). In manner and deportment he was regal. In personality he was striking and in lifestyle he was extravagant. He was in short a larger than life personality. When he died in 1945 he left a void difficult to fill.

Muthiah Bhagavatar first came to the notice of the royal family of Mysore when during the Dussehra durbar of 1926, Madurai Ponnusami Pillai played his kriti Valli Nayaka Ni (Shanmukhapriya) on the nagaswaram. The Maharajah, Krishnarajendra Wodeyar IV desired to meet the composer of the kriti and through the efforts of Ponnusami Pillai and Bhagavatar’s good friend Mysore Vaudevachar who was a palace artiste, an invitation was sent for the Dussehra celebrations of 1927. He became a palace artiste and shifted to Mysore. In 1928, Bhagavatar was conferred the title of Gayaka Shikhamani by the Mysore Court and given the task of composing 108 kritis on Chamundamba, the tutelary deity of the royal family.

Bhagavatar was initially diffident as the songs were to be in Kannada but Krishnarajendra Wodeyar, who had by then become a friend, solved it by getting palace scholar Devottama Jois to assist in the matter of lyrics. Bhagavatar began work and by way of prayer, initially composed six kritis, one each on Ganapati (Buddhi Devi in Malahari), Saraswati (Sri Mangalavani in Asaveri), Siva-Mahabaleswara who is the consort of Chamundamba (Mahabaleswara Vibho in Saranga), Narayana who is enshrined on the same hill as Chamundamba (Narayana in Kiravani), Guru (Gurunatha in Pushpalata) and Anjaneya (Sri Anjaneya in Chenjurutti). All these songs request the respective deity to give the composer the talent and skill to compose the 108 kritis on Devi.

The basis for the 108 songs is the Chamundamba Ashottaram, which as the name suggests is a list of 108 names of the Goddess and which are recited everyday at the temple by way of worship even now. Bhagavatar followed the same order, from Sri Chamundambayai Namaha (his first song is Sampatprade Sri Chamundeswari in Kalyani) to Srimat Tripurasundaryai Namaha (the last song is Srimat Tripurasundari in Madhyamavati). The songs are all in the usual pallavi, anupallavi, charanam format with every tenth song and the 108th song having two charanams instead of one. Each tenth song (as also the 108th) incorporates, in its second charanam, the name of the ruler, Krishnarajendra Wodeyar.

Bhagavatar, always a man for unusual and rare ragas uses them in plenty in this suite of kritis. Thus we have ragas such as Vinadhari (Girijadeviya), Harinarayani (Devi Sri), Shuddha Lalitha Sahasrashirsha, Chakrapradipa Chakreshi), Vijayanagari (Vijayambike), Urmika (Kalaratrisvarupini), Guharanjani (Navavarana) and Navaratnavilasa (Navaksharamanu). While most of the songs are in conventional talas, one or two are set in talas such as kanda jati jhampa and chatusra jhampa. As the songs progressed, their notation was taken down by Belakavadi Srinivasa Iyengar. To assist Bhagavatar in his composing work and to enhance the pleasure of listening to him sing the songs, the Maharajah ordered two tamburas, each six feet tall and decorated with copious amounts of ivory. These were gifted to Bhagavatar who immediately christened them Rama and Lakshmana.

The set of 108 kritis was completed in 1932 with the last two songs being set in the characteristic mangala ragas Saurashtram and Madhyamavati. In addition, there is a mangalam in Vasantha. On the work being completed, Bhagavatar was gifted Rs 10,000 and a pearl necklace that had a ruby studded pendant bearing the image of Goddess Chamundamba.