How to value Toxic Assets?

During the late 80s there was folklore that pop singer Madonna had insured her breasts for an undisclosed sum. If I remember coorectly, Samantha Fox followed suit, and so did Pamella Anderson Lee… perhaps age is catching up, so I have lost track of this Hall of fame ( sic).

I was on the flight back home from Shanghai today, and could not help peep over the neighbour’s copy of newspaper which screamed “How to value to Toxic Assets” – somehow this peeping habit seldom seems to go away, be it the neighbour’s newspaper or in the men’s room, phew! Curiosity quite often seems to override common knowledge.

Back to the toxic assets discussion, for a moment I was left wondering what was being referred to. Surely Madonna may well have become grandma by now, and therefore her “toxic assets” may now have softened to the status of liabilities ( ahem!). Or did they refer to the twin towers in NY ( I mean the real ones?) … most unlikely, I mused… they have already been brought down by 9/11 of the real variety ( not the Financial one). Surely, I thought, they may be referring to the Presidential candidates in the US… but I was quickly back in my senses… after all, the headlines referred to assets, and I am not sure that average American considers either of them in this same category. Or are they referring to the new glamour girl in the Presidential run-up, Sarah Palin, I wondered for a moment. But then, I reasoned to myself, she does not seem to possess any toxic assets- I mean, as far I know , she used to only do community service in her native Alaska, and never did possess any oil wells, for them create any oil spills, leading to toxicity …. (Oh, come on, guys, give me a break!)

Then, immediately my recent jaunt in China reminded me – has the newspaper referred to the melamine-mixed milk from China as the toxic asset? That milk is toxic, for sure, as the thousands in China would bear, but , I wondered, when did the Americans start considering Chinese imports as assets? Surely not, I thought…

By this time, my neighbour had quietly folded that crimpled newspaper, tucked it under his legs, and gone to slumber after his round of Bloody Mary. And for the rest of the flight, I was left twiddling my thumbs on what those toxic assets could be - of course, I had washed my hands before my meal, so my thumb was free of any toxicity!

Any clues on what toxic assets were being alluded to?


Cheers... Dilip