Reactions to the Diesel price hike

Here could be a list of purely imaginary reactions from our Netas on the recent hike in prices of Diesel.

Digvijay Singh - Rahul Gandhi did not take this unpleasant decision. If you need to blame someone, then blame me.

Mamta Banerjee - No, we were not consulted on this anti-farmer hike. The decision has been taken by Maoist supporters.

Karunanidhi - This is a conspiracy of "Ammaiyar" ( Jaya), and is anti-Tamil. We completely oppose this, but will not leave the government under any circumstances.

CPI(M) - we will take to the streets to pressurize the government to roll this back, but we will not topple the government under any circumstances that could pave the way for "communal forces".

Sushilkumar Shinde ( or any other incumbent Home minister) : This is a conspiracy to de-stabilize the country, from across the border.

Nitish Kumar: We strongly oppose this, but want only a "secular" leader from the BJP to become the next PM.

Mulayam Singh Yadav: We oppose this, but want all elephant statues ( including those in temples) to be brought down, along with Diesel prices.

Narendra Modi : We will make our own diesel, and take Gujarat down the path of prosperity. Come to Gujarat!

Arun Jaitley: We want the government to be accountable in the parliament - but we will not let the parliament function. 

Omar Abdullah : This hike will strongly destabilize Kashmir and make the terrorists' job redundant. We need to be more humane to them.

Jayalalitha: This is a conspiracy of Karunanidhi. His party is part of the government, and is actually promoting this, much to the detriment of Tamils.

Dr. Manmohan: ..........................................................................................................(yawn)